One of the worst things many parents fear for their children is being targeted by bullies. Bullying in school or elsewhere may seem like a common experience for many people, but unfortunately, it’s not something anyone should take lightly. Bullying comes in many forms, yet they all bring the same consequences and effects on the victim. When not intervened, the victim may suffer from property damages, physical injuries, and, worst, mental or emotional scars.
As parents, you might feel anger, pain, and frustration, especially when you find out your child has been bullied and you weren’t there to protect them. After all, it’s hard to protect or intervene with your child’s life when you don’t know what’s happening, and they aren’t used to opening up to you about the things that happened to them in school. Thus, openness and strong communication with your child is crucial in helping them overcome bullying and preventing them from being targeted in the future.
Here are five ways you can help your child deal with bullying:
1. Design A Safe Space For Your Child To Open Up
The bullying problem in NYC and other areas of the world is continuously rising. It’s also one of the biggest threats towards creating a safe and welcoming school environment for students. As parents, you’re the first people kids should feel comfortable with talking about their lives, especially when it’s about bullying. Thus, make sure you build a safe space for your child and allow them to open up about their experiences.
Whenever they talk about being bullied, never scold them or embarrass them for not standing up for themselves. Getting an emotional reaction from you will only discourage them from sharing any more details with you in the future. And the more they keep the bullying situation to themselves, the less likely you’ll be able to protect them. Instead, calmly ask your child questions while you gather as many details as you can. You can use these details later on if the bullying is severe and requires legal action.
After your child has opened up to you, make sure you praise and applaud them for their courage in telling you about it. This type of safe and comfortable communication will help you protect your child from more bullying in the future, and at the same time, strengthen your relationship with your child.
2. Encourage Them To Avoid The Bully
The less time your child is exposed to bullies, the less likely they’ll be bullied, so encourage your child to avoid the bullies as much as possible. For example, if bullying often happens in the cafeteria, advise them to eat lunch at a different table and sit with their friends. The bullies won’t be able to attack or harass your child when they’re with their friends and when they don’t see each other often. If they’re often bullied inside the bus, pick them up after school to prevent them from riding the bus.
Meanwhile, if the bullying happens on social media (cyberbullying), advise them to block the person on social media. It’s also recommended to closely monitor your child’s social media engagement so you can put their account on hold when the bullying becomes severe.
3. Advise Them To Hold Any Reaction
One thing that motivates bullies to keep doing what they’re doing is the child’s reaction. They like it best when their target gets mad, frustrated, whiny, or upset. These reactions make them feel powerful and in control over the victim’s emotions. Therefore, teach your child about holding out their response whenever a bully tries to provoke or test their patience.
You can practice some role-play scenarios at home wherein you act as the bully while you watch your child come up with their responses. Train them to avoid showing any facial reaction (e.g., crying, looking red, smiling). Furthermore, discourage them from laughing or smiling with the bully as this will only provoke the bully to physically harm them. Repeat these role-playing practices until your child is confident enough to handle and avoid bullies on their own and avoid causing a scene.
4. Empower Them To Get Help
Bullying should be normalized in society. It’s not a life phase that usually comes and goes since bullying can still happen anytime, anywhere, and at any age. Thus, remind your child to approach authority and get help when necessary. You can teach them to report to their teacher or guidance counselor whenever they’re attacked or harassed.
Better yet, tell them to contact you right away when bullying occurs. The earlier they ask for help, the easier it’ll be for you and the authorities to intervene and avoid more bullying scenarios in the future.
5. Build Their Confidence
Often, bullies love to target kids with mental health issues or low self-esteem and confidence. That’s because children with no self-confidence also tend to be intimidated to get help or report back to their parents or teachers when they’re bullied. By building your child’s confidence and reinforcing their good behaviors, they’ll grow up to be independent and confident individuals capable of standing up to bullies.
So, help your child build up their confidence by encouraging them to join extracurricular activities, promoting socialization and healthy connections, and honoring them about their strengths and good qualities. Every bullying situation may seem different, but your child can surely handle anything when they have the confidence and poise to shut down any bully that comes their way.
Take-Home Message
Bullying is still an ongoing social issue, and it’s not likely going away easily. Thus, the best protection you can do for your children is to teach them how to handle bullying in the safest and healthiest way possible. Most importantly, remind your child that you’ll always be available whenever they need your back.