Barbara 2.0
[BARBARA:]
Look at this stuff
God, it’s depressing
[ADAM, spoken:]
You don’t like this stuff?
Barbara, this is our stuff…
[BARBARA, sung:]
A shrine to the feelings
We’ve been repressing
[ADAM, spoken:]
Well, then maybe we should go
[BARBARA, sung:]
Unfinished projects
Meaningless objects
Plans I abandoned or quit
It’s the stuff of our lives
And all of it’s shit
[ADAM, spoken:]
What? Barbara?!
[BARBARA, sung:]
Books on computers
A “spin-your-own-yarn” kit?
[ADAM, spoken:]
Okay, that… Wasn’t as much fun as I thought it’d be…
[BARBARA, sung:]
Home-brewed kombucha
That tasted like armpit
[ADAM, spoken:]
We are not kombucha people
We did find that out
[BARBARA, sung:]
Take it and trash it
Burn it or smash it
We have to adapt to survive
We can be fighters
With fire inside us
We’re more than detritus
We’re finally alive!
The Barbara you married
She Is dead and buried
Six feet below
And now Barbara the doormat
She’s coming back in a new format
Time to let go
Say hello
To Barbara 2.0!
[ADAM, spoken:]
I never even used this…
But then I felt bad that I never used it
[BARBARA, spoken:]
Break it!
[ADAM, sung:]
Barbara, you’re right
I think I’ve been hiding–
[BARBARA, spoken:]
I was too!
I don’t even like pottery!
[ADAM, sung:]
Stuck out of sight
Like my un-used aluminum siding
[BARBARA, spoken:]
We are NOT aluminum siding people!
[ADAM, sung:]
Tragic and static
Trapped in this attic
Now Adam is shedding his skin
No more excuses
We’re no longer useless
We’ve got nothing to lose
We can finally begin!
The new Adam is wiser
The old one’s fertilizer
It’s time to let go
Say hello!
[BARBARA:]
I’m tired of doors
To better or more
We could just walk
But we’ve done that before
What we cannot ignore
As Lydia needs us
[ADAM:]
That must be the reason she sees us
[BARBARA:]
Adam, I wanna stay
She needs people who won’t run away
Friends who don’t stop at problems or obstacles
Not a house
But a home
[BOTH:]
Ready, set, let’s go!
Time to let go
Cause the new upgraded Maitlands
Are charging out the gates and
They’re gonna unload
Say hello…
To Maitlands 2.0!
Maitlands 2.0!
Maitlands 2.0!